Do you self-depreciate in low self-esteem?

Entrepreneurs are hardwired to seek bigger opportunities. It is their drive to be the best and to peak-perform that earns them my respect.

But when there is a burn-out or a psychological barrier, there is also a pattern,.Too many overvalue what they are not and undervalue what they are. I mean, many need to overcome low self-esteem.

What is self-esteem and how does it matter?

Negative self-talk is a habit and a self-fulfilling prophecy. If you tell people you’re no good, weak, or struggle with sales or product or marketing, then you don’t even give yourself a chance.

Maybe you are not yet a proficient public speaker or a high-rated sales manager, but if you frame the skills you lack as opportunities for improvement, you will empower and motivate yourself. If you want to learn a skill, it is never too late.

Self-Depreciation is the root of low Self-Esteem

If you depreciate yourself, you end up feeling low in self-esteem and will hardly initiate or follow up on any self-improvement.

Research shows that before the age of eight, our self-esteem is entirely dependent on our caretakers. 

If your parents verbally or nonverbally communicated that you:

• were not attractive enough,
• not smart enough,
• or not good enough, while you were growing up, you may think of yourself as only conditionally acceptable. This would have likely had a negative impact on your self-esteem. 

We are conditioned from a relatively young age to minimize and self-depreciate so that we do not come across as arrogant. Even if we know or agree with the compliment we are receiving, we do not allow ourselves to take it in, we deflect.

You may have low self-acceptance if you have any of these symptoms:

• You often have a negative attitude
• It is difficult for you to acknowledge your weaknesses or failures
• You are constantly critical of yourself, and/or are confused about your identity
• Often you wish you were different than who you already are

 

In 1959, psychologist Carl Rogers wrote about unconditional positive regard and how important it is in personal development. He posts that a person with high self-esteem faces adversity and thrives anyway, while a person with low self-worth cannot truly function in the world.

A successful person with healthy self-esteem is someone who experiences challenges and accepts failure and unhappiness as a part of life. They are open with others and generally have positive feelings about themselves. Rogers believes that this is what it takes to be a functioning person in this world. It is this kind of person that can more readily get over negative thoughts without chasing them down the rabbit hole.

On the other hand, Rogers says, an unsuccessful person avoids challenges and refuses to accept the pain and unhappiness life produces. They are often defensive as a result of negative feelings about themselves, and they can’t escape these negative thoughts. Negativity rules their world in a destructive way.

What does Rogers mean by unconditional positive regard? It is reframing from self-esteem to self-compassion. he points out to the alternative approach of viewing your mistakes and shortcomings with ‘kindness and understanding’, instead of beating yourself up.

People self-depreciate when they can not admit or accept they have flaws.

Once they accept their flaws, they are not being able to live with these flaws. This is a place people get stuck.

But healthy self-esteem begins with unconditional self-acceptance, with self-compassion.

This means that you need to accept who you are and not who you think you’re supposed to be. This also means that you need to accept your good qualities and your bad ones. And yes, everyone has both good and bad qualities.

High levels of self-acceptance can lead to less focus on negative aspects of oneself and a higher likelihood of engaging in acts of self-love.

Self-depreciation is definitely not an act of self-love, is it?

How can you reverse that bad habit? Talk to yourself the way you would talk to a good friend. If your friend was late or messed up a presentation, you likely wouldn’t say: “You are such a loser. And you are terrible at your job.” You would probably simply say: “You did your best under the circumstances and no one is perfect.”

The more you can be your own brain’s best friend, the more you will be able to find opportunities to praise yourself when they arise.

This is a quiet habit of all successful people. Just remember: criticism withers people, praise builds them up.

Do not wait for others to praise you.  And do it on your own, on purpose, and regularly.

If you say, you do not feel like doing it, you are probably facing some resistance, some learned inner negativity.

So, how can you turn your back to the habit of self-depreciation, improve your self-acceptance, and live a fuller life?

Learning how to love yourself right and treat yourself well can impact the way you live your life and the things you’re able to accomplish.

Here is the first rule to jumpstart your journey to self-acceptance:

BE KIND TO YOURSELF

It’s time to accept the fact that no one judges you more than you judge yourself. You can be your own worst enemy, but you need to get out of your way and start developing patience. Be patient with yourself, and accept your flaws.

• Bring to mind ways in which you might respond to a situation of a perceived personal failure, that would have a positive impact on you. Just imagine the kindest, most positive response you could give to yourself. What would that look like? Feel like?
• Teach your body how it feels like when you are your own best friend, your most loyal cheerleader. What words would you then choose to say to yourself in order t0 be able to feel this way?
• Change the password to all your devices, to begin with: ‘I am enough’. Write this phrase on your bath mirror.

You’re worth it, and you deserve to be.

Although this and other steps can help you develop self-acceptance, it will take time and practice. Trying to change subconscious behavior is not easy, but it is possible if you remain disciplined and consistent.

For a more effective solution, however, consider working with a professional.

 By using a proven technique, you achieve results much faster compared to trying to develop self-acceptance on your own. 

The difference is that by using a therapeutic modality, you are able to utilize powerful tools and strategies to work directly with your subconscious. You can explore and directly address deep-rooted issues, which make it difficult to accept yourself.

After working with clients from around the world for over three decades, my mentor, world-renowned therapist, speaker, author, and founder of Rapid Transformational Therapy Marisa Peer, concluded that most people’s issues stemmed from the feeling of not being enough. 

Feeling inadequate leads to low self-acceptance, and usually stems from a traumatic experience in your childhood. 

Many of us have been conditioned to not fully accept ourselves. We believe that our weaknesses and failures somehow disqualify us from feeling content about our lives.

However, it does not have to be that way; you can improve your psychological and emotional well-being by developing better self-acceptance.

Rapid Transformational Therapy is the approach that I use and which allows us to find exactly where, when, how and why, you have come to form a belief of not being enough and a mental habit of self-depreciation.

All you need to do is be open and take action.

Apply for our get-acquainted call now.

This meeting is completely free for you: During our call, I will get acquainted with your situation and we will talk about possible solutions.
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