Three false beliefs about confidence and self-esteem

Whether you are at work or asked to give a talk or you are approaching someone that you are interested in, you want to feel good in your own skin, feeling whole and complete.

Why is that not always easy, why is confidence never there, when you most need it?

When you are a child, you learn what you live. You observe and you make meanings. My dad left, which means, I am not loveable. We do not have money, because money is hard to find. It becomes a fixed belief.

At that point, you have not developed yet your logic of conclusions, your reasoning of values, the superior judgment ability of right and wrong that comes with social experience. Your father left and he had his reasons, but hardly any one of them was connected to you. Your family did not have money, money was hard to find for your family back then, but money is hard to find is not a general truth.

With the immature conclusion-making abilities of a child, you easily decide: If something goes wrong in the world around me, it must be my fault, some inadequacy of mine is preventing my mom’s smile or my dad’s contentment, my teacher’s appreciation.

If only I could be better, do more, and achieve higher, maybe then the people I love would be happy all the time. What a task!

You make your beliefs about your perceived shortcomings and then your beliefs make your life experience for years to come. Then your childhood beliefs keep impacting you forever after. You take them for real, because they feel so familiar. You confuse familiar with true.

Beliefs like: Nobody will love me. If I speak up, everybody will laugh at me. I am never gonna make it. I do not have friends. People do not like me.. I am not attractive, if I am not interesting. These false beliefs become familiar and you mistakingly believe them to be true.

3 myths about Confidence

When it comes to self confidence and self-esteem, here are three myths people often hold on to today:

  • What you believe about yourself is the real You.

Well, it is not. It is a belief that you took on as a child and is still embedded in you as an adult. The beliefs that you are carrying around with you, that are hurting you, limiting you, are not yours, they do not belong to you. Somebody gave them to you. Parents, teachers, relatives, friends, immediate surroundings. You took someone else’s opinion of you as a fact. You were given a label that shaped your opinion of yourself. Nothing can be further from the truth. What people call facts are mostly someone else’s opinions.

When a child gets a belief, it also adds on a tag to it: ‘It will always be like that.IT will be like that for the rest of my life. I can not change it. There is nothing I can do about it.’

This is why even famous people who have everything, money, power, fame, etc. /Amy Whinehouse Whitney Housten, Robby Williams, Chris Cornell…/they still got this tag.’I am not enough’, and it will always be like that. I am not enough and I can not change it. So many famous people end up even committing suicide. This is the self-destruction of a habit of thought. Like: What would they like me for? Is it for my money? For my fame? For what they can get from me? Or do they love me for the real me? I have so much and I still feel so empty on the inside. So, there is no way out. I am done. Finished. I still feel I am not enough. Nothing will ever change that.

The next false belief about confidence

The good news is a child might be helpless and hopeless and not able to change things, but an adult can. As children we are being fed so many lies. Here is one more:

  • Something out there is going to fix your self esteem

It simply is not true. The message you get in our culture today is stop looking to feel better, just get a fancier car, earn the raise, the promotion, grow the bank account to feel good about yourself. Even Hollywood artists, people who you believe have everything, have self esteem issues. A recent wave of celebrity suicides points to this. The truth is, you do not have everything, if you do not have self confidence and high self esteem, you have nothing. Because until you like yourself and believe in yourself, nothing else matters. It doesn’t matter how beautiful you are, how wealthy,how much stuff you have, look at Michael Jackson, George Michael, Whitney Houston, Marilyn Monroe. All the love, all the praise of the whole world could not save them. Confidence, self esteem, come from in here. Not from out there. It is in here, that you can massively grow and keep it forever. And have phenomenal, life-changing self-esteem.

The Third Myth about Confidence

  • The third myth about confidence and self esteem: Somebody else is going to come along and make you feel amazing and fix your life.

Some great partner, a boss at work is going to see how amazing you are, or you get a baby, that is going to love you, love you. If you give someone the power to fix you, to make you feel the way you have always wanted to feel, they also have the power to take that way. A great partner leaves, a boss promotes someone else, the baby, that used to love you so much, becomes a 15 year old, who doesn’t even want to talk to you

There is not doubt, the best is having someone to believe in you as you grow up, this helps enormously. But  if not, you have to do it.

Become your best parent. Take responsibility for how you feel. Whatever you wanted to hear, say it to yourself. When you say it to yourself, it changes your entire life. Then your mind goes: ‘Well, if you are saying that, it must be true. So, say the words you most want to hear. The mind isn’t able to differentiate, whether your words are bad or good, it takes them for true. Being down on yourself or praising yourself, both become true, your mind lets it all in. Figure out how to generate confidence from within.

You might think: Easier said than done. Yes, you may have all the good reasons to believe that.

Change is simple

It is simple, but not easy to change. Especially not on your own. Your subconscious mind sticks to what is familiar and resists what is new. Your subconscious justifies the old ways of thinking and feeling because it can not differentiate between good and bad. It only works with KNOWNS. What has been repeated for so many years will be defended. Until we give the mind a reason to let go.

As we begin to work together, Self Confidence is one of the three pillars, that we focus upon to build your success mindset. Using regression to the formative childhood years enables a really deep understanding and subsequently a powerful transformation. I want you to understand, you were born loaded with confidence. In our hypnotherapy sessions we reactivate, re-manifest, regenerate, recreate what you were born with. It is your birthright to have it. In the regression part, we go back to find out what happened to it. And reinstall it.

During RTT/Rapid Transformational Therapy/ Session we:

  • INVESTIGATE WHAT WENT WRONG
  • INTERRUPT THOSE BELIEFS
  • INSTALL AND CODE IN SOME WAY BETTER IDEAS

If this something of interest to you?

is this an area, you would like to work upon?

Let’s get in touch!

Does this sound interesting to you? Do you have questions?

Have you already become aware for yourself that there is some inner inventory you need to make in order to upgrade your mindset and therefore your business?

You can reach out to me. Let us have a short get-acquainted call. I am willing to gift you 30 min of my time.

Once I get to know your situation, we will come out with a plan about how you can finally get rid of the sticky limiting beliefs blocking you from the success you are.

You can contact me here: fightyourfears.eu

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